During my appointment my doc says that there was alot of blood in my urine, so he wanted to redo the test there at his office. He did so and received the same results. He said that it was a symptom of cancer and I needed an ultra sound to see what was going on. The receptionist made me an appointment at the imaging center for me for the next day. Now "Cancer" is going through my head and it's getting louder because this MUST be serious because, "What doctors office gets you in the next day"?? So I go home and start planning my funeral, I decide that I'm going to blog this journey to death and I'm going to write letters to my grandchildren (who are not born yet and not even conceived), and try to come to terms with the fact that at least my last 20 years were sooo much better than my first 20.
The next day, I go to the imaging center to get an ultra sound. I just wanted to cry as I was sitting in the waiting room. In fact I think I was crying. Fortunately there was the most beautiful little baby boy with his grandmother who kept me pleasantly distracted.
My name was finally called after waiting an hour!! The technician started my visit by telling me what a terrible day she was having. This wasn't a great surprise to me. It happens ALL the time. Sometimes I think that I have my degree tattooed on my forehead, Lori, BSW, (that's Bachelors in Social Work). Newsflash...I REALLY don't care about your day. I have my own problems!!
So, she's doing the ultrasound which was really a pain in the ass, because I had to drink a glass of water an hour before the appointment and hold it. So because they were running so late, hence her 'bad day', I had been 'holding it' for two hours. For those of you who are under 40, you may not think of this as a big deal, but I assure you it is. To make matters worst, while she is doing the ultra sound, she has to 'push' on the area where she is taking the photo and keeps apologising for having to do so, as I'm thinking, "Don't apologise to me...you're the one who's going to have to clean up the mess!" Now I can't see the computer screen of what the ultra sound is recording, so instead, I'm looking at her face. This woman has a TERRIBLE poker face! I knew my results were going to be bad. That and she kept on asking me (5 or 6 times) "So you're here just from a routine physical?" I'm sure this woman was very competent in what she does, but don't they teach these people good 'bedside manners'? Professionalism? WTH?
At first she told me, when we were done, that I could go home and the doc would call with my results, but then she that there were special instructions and I needed to wait because the doc wanted to know the results immediately. So again, I sat in the waiting room impatiently awaiting my sentence. More funeral plans floating through my head, maybe I'll write a letter to my future daughter-in-law (who also does not yet exist) , too. Oh, and maybe she would want to wear my wedding gown when walking down the aisle. The tech finally came out and said my doc would call me.
That afternoon my doc called and said that I had an 8cm fibroid tumor. He said that I needed to call the imaging center and have them send the results to my OB/GYN. WHAT?? I have to call them and have them send the results to my other doctor. Isn't that what receptionists are for?? So I called the imaging center do the work of a receptionist. I got there answering machine that said they were closed and then preceded to give their hours. Well they close at 4:45, but it was only 4:15 and I knew that they were closed the next day, Friday and would not open until Monday or Tuesday, because it was Christmas weekend. GREAT, more time that I need to sit back and wait. Don't they know that there is a tumor growing inside of me!!!!
On Monday I called the imaging center to have my records transferred and I called my OB/GYN to make sure that they received them. I happened to have an annual appointment scheduled for the following week and asked the receptionist if I should keep that appointment or would the doc want to see me sooner. She said that the doc was not in that day (big surprise), but that she would be in the next day and either her or the nurse will call with further instructions. So, again I wait...and wait...and wait. The doc never called.
The following week I went to my OB/GYN for my annual appointment. Now mind you, I have Fybromyalgia. Stress, alone, can put me in bed. I'm looking online for info on fibroid tumors (since my docs aren't giving me ANY info) and learn that I may need a hysterectomy. Ok, I'm 43 years old, I have one son (who drives me NUTS, he's 16) I'm DONE having kids. I'm ok with that. The problem lies in my crappy health insurance, Healthy NY, and I'm self employed, no paid sick days. Now I'm in the examination room, waiting for the doc and the tears start flowing. I blow my nose, wipe my face, try to get a grip. I tell myself, "Don't cry here, cry at home." So I suck it up before I hear the doc outside my room flipping through my file. I know she's thinking, "Oh, hell...How I'm I going to tell her that she can't have any more children?" So she comes in and starts with the small talk, which I have NO patients for and I get to the nitty gritty. She starts circling around and beating around the bush. She has a nervous smile on her face and seems to be trying to search for the right words. Growing more inpatient by the minute I say, "Do I need a hysterectomy?" She still had that nervous smile and hesitantly asks, "Do you want anymore..." and I quickly cut her off and say, " No, I don't want anymore kids. My only concerns are a) will my health insurance cover it and b) what's the recovery time since I'm self employed?" I hear an audible sigh of relief and the doc is now able to give me the info I need.
Right now, I'm in the process of trying to find out if my insurance will cover the whole procedure. I know that I will have a $500 copay for the hospital and about a $200 copay to the doc. I also have Aflack insurance that, I think, will pay me $500 for every day that I am in the hospital. I'm hoping that this will at least cover my copays.
To be continued...
1/10/12
I went to the docs today to have another ultra sound. This appointment was sooo much nicer and more relaxing than the first one. I had to drink more water, but I didn't have to wait for an hour in the waiting room. The office was soo much more pleasant. I was early for my appointment and I still only waited for about 5 minutes. The women who did my ultra sound didn't tell me about her bad day and she didn't frown or make funny faces as she was doing my ultra sound. She actually was the exact opposite. She had a very flat affect and I found this very relaxing. My next appointment is in a few days and I will find out the details of the surgery. I'm feeling calm...
1/13/12
Today I met with the surgeon. We discussed surgery in detail. She wants me to keep my ovaries, but she wants to remove my fallopian tubes. She said that I need to decide if I want to keep my cervix. I need to look up some more info on that. I'm thinking that I may keep it. I have two fibroid tumors. One is 8 cm and it is located in my uterus. The other one is 4cm (I think) and is located behind my uterus. They are going to do the Da Vinci technique. It is several small incisions instead of big ones. The procedure takes a little longer, but the recovery time is only about 2 weeks instead of 6. It is said that it comes with less pain, also. I just want to get back to work as soon as possible. I still don't have a surgery date. I hope they can get me in soon. I should know next week.
1/18/12
Found out my surgery date. I rearranged my work schedule. I just need to find out how much money I will get from Aflack. I'm hoping it will cover my co-pays. I'm starting to get nervous, again.
1/26/12
Surgery is coming quick. I should get $500 from Aflack which will cover my hospital co-pay. We're having our taxes done before my surgery. It's one less thing on my mind. I'm going to clean the house this weekend and go grocery shopping. I took 10 days off from work. That might be a little optimistic.
1/29/12
Still nervous about the surgery. I wish it was over , already! I go for blood tests tomorrow. Paperwork is filled out. House is almost totally cleaned. I made chicken soup yesterday. Taxes are done. I downloaded some free books on my computer from Amazon. Time is passing slowly...
1/30/12
I had my blood test today. House is almost clean. Went to the bank. Hoping to pay somemore bills before my surgery.
1/31/12
Tomorrow is the big day. I have to be at the hospital at 9am. The house is clean, laundry done, food made for my men, including a ricotta pie for my son. I had a garbage plate today for lunch to treat myself. For those of you who are not from Rochester, this is what a 'garbage plate' is! "White hot plate, everything with mac and french fries". YUM!!! Actually, I don't even need to order, they just yell it out when they see me pull in the parking lot! Sometimes they yell it out as I'm walking through the door and everyone at the counter turns around wondering, 'What the hell!!' It cracks me up!!
This evening I played wii bowling with my husband to try to work off the anxiety. My cloths are packed. I'm bringing my computer, too. I downloaded a book on it in case I can't get online. I can't eat or drink anything past midnight.
2/1/12
Today's the day. It's 6:45 am and I'm DYING for a cup of tea!!! I can't eat or drink anything. Surgery should start at about 11:15. I have to be at the hospital at 9 am.
It's 9:40 pm. The surgery went GREAT!! No problems. They even took me early. It lasted for about 3 hours. I woke up groggy and SOOOO thirsty. The nurses and Docs here are sooo nice. I can't say enough about them. I'm in a double room, by myself. It is sooo quiet and pleasant. My bed is comfy. I have a pitcher of water, chapstick, eyedrops, cell photo, laptop, cable and a catheter. What more do I need? I don't think I'll EVER want to leave. This is the life. I just went for my first walk. I feel a little pressure where my incestions are and it mostly just hurts when Don makes me laugh. I took some hydrocodone a few hours ago and a benedrill (I was itchy on my neck and face). Just chilling out. I'm wide awake. I think I'll go to bed at about 11 pm.
2/2/12
Slept like crap last night. I read until midnight and then was wide awake at 3 am and decided to read for a few hours more. I came home this afternoon with a bottle of percocet, my new best friend. I don't feel my five incessions, but I feel a lot of pressure under my diaphrame. During surgery they pumped my stomach with air and I am still feeling the pressure. The docs said that walking would help relieve the gas and this does help. I came home today with a bottle of percocet, my new best friend. I can't drive for a week and can't lift more than 15 lbs. I'm thinking that I'm going to need more than 10 days off.
2/3/12
Slept like a baby!!! I was on my own today. I showered this morning and it was WONDERFUL!! After I showered and surrounded myself with everything I would need to keep me happy for a few hours, I took my pain meds. They really make me groggy and dizzy, but they work GREAT on my pain. And I did have pain!! I don't like how the meds make me feel, but I like not feeling the pain. I tried not to take another pill this afternoon, but I couldn't take the pain. I watched tv, read, did some laundry and slept. No one bothered me and I was able to relax. I REALLY wanted to bake a cake for the superbowl, but I just couldn't do it. Maybe tomorrow.
2/4/12
Slept great again last night. I baked a decorated a super bowl cake for my son's fundraiser, www.the-fish-lady.com/fundraiser.
I think I overdid it. My back is KILLING me tonight. I took more meds and have a heating pad on. I'll take it easy tomorrow. I guess I'm NOT Superwoman...
2/5/12
Slept GREAT again. Did some couponing today as my husband drove me to two of my favorite stores. Too tired to go to the third. Read this afternoon and watching the Super Bowl tonight. No party, just taking it easy.
2/8/12
Went to a docs appointment today to see my surgeon. She said I was doing well and healing nicely. I was going to return to work next week, but I think I'm going to rearrange my schedule. I'm still on pain meds, so my husband drove me to my appoimtment. I take it easy during the day. I'm on my 3rd book.
2/9/12
Only took two pain meds today. I'm going to try to go without tomorrow so I can drive. I REALLY have to get back to work next week.
2/10/12
Went without pain meds this morning so I could drive this afternoon. I was sooooo tired today!!! I took pain meds tonight and it really upset my stomach. Did bills tonight and we are really hurting. I'm going back to work next week. I really need the money. Playtime is over!!
2/12/12
I've been sleeping well, but my back is KILLING ME!!!!!! I'm trying not to take my pain meds, so I can drive and function, but I can only take so much. I'm taking meds at night. I'm starting back to work this week because I REALLY need the money. I hope some Aleve will do the trick. If not, I'll be calling in.
2/14/12
Scheduled 5 tanks today, but only cleaned 2. SOOOOOOOOOO TIRED!!!! No pain today. Can't keep my eyes open. Canceled my clarinet lesson. Happy Effin' Valentines Day!
2/15/12
Happy Birthday to me!! I worked this morning and had off in the afternoon. VERY TIRED!!! Watched movies with my man, while he played hookie. No pain today.
2/16/12
I felt GREAT today. I did some cleaning and cooking and worked this afternoon. I'm tired now, but at least I have a reason to be. No aleve and no pain today. Woohoo!!
2/20/12
I've been VERY tired. I'm working, but I only work in the morning OR afternoon, not both. I walked, indoor, almost a half mile today. I can't bike for another three weeks and I miss it. I think exercising will help with my fibromyalgia. One day at a time...
2/21/12
Worked this morning and sooo tired!! Fibromyalgia in full swing!!
2/22/12
Slept well. Relaxed most of the day. Studied my Italian.
2/29/12
Today is exactly 4 week post-opp. I saw the doc today. She said that I can resume all normal activity!! Woohoo!! I gained 4 lbs in the past month and look forward to working out. And she said that I will not get my period!! I'm still tired. I either work in the morning or afternoon, not both.
3/18/12
This will probably be my last update on my hysterectomy. It's been almost 7 weeks since my surgery. It took me about 5 weeks before I started to feel like myself. After 4weeks my doc said that I could start exercising again, but I still haven't gotten back in the habit. I'm dieting starting tomorrow...famous last words, but REALLY I am. I'm so heavy. I'll be blogging about this new journey.
